The Marshalling Yard

I guess it was inevitable that at times on this journey the train would be side tracked and forward progress hindered almost to a standstill. Laying semi paralysed in the bed rest siding at The Royal Surrey is one of those interludes during which spirits and positivity reached an all time low because of the discovery, treatment and  further investigation of the mets in the thoracic spinal region and all the negative  implications associated with this frightening situation.


On the up track the news is slightly more encouraging having, with the best support in the  world, come to terms with the  indignities, loss of independence and fears of the unknown accompanying this current condition, now seen the glimmer of a green light ahead as I complete the 5 sessions of radiotherapy later today and await the results of a full spine MRI (30 minutes in that tube with tumour pains nagging is no joke so it had better be a good result!)


The continuing care from the ward staff and and all the other teams involved, both personal and professional keep me bouyant and for that I am eternally grateful and do my utmost to reward such stirling efforts by trying to stay as upbeat as possible - but it ain't aways easy folks!


Apologies for the limited means of communication with you all as editing and updating this blog alone is a mammoth task using the hospital facilities, but do please know you are all in my thoughts and I miss the news and the banter.


Love, light and blessings to all you angels, who ensure it's 'Marshalling' in the title and not 'Knackers'


David (X)


P.S. In the interests of common decency and to save my dignity there will be no photos of my bed baths (or, sadly, any others), but without much sense or feeling and occasionally being outnumbered 3 to 1 by pretty nurses I do feel somewhat cheated  :)

Tune in to Radio Royal Surrey

My grateful thanks to the staff and doctors at Phyllis Tuckwell who promptly instigated an MRI scan yesterday morning which swiftly lead to the commencement of a 5 day programme of radiotherapy starting tomorrow at The Royal Surrey, Guildford. The aim is to zap the new secondaries discovered in the thoracic spine area and get me back on my feet again and reduce pain. If I promise to behave myself can I come back to Farnham and thank you all personally (and collect the contents of my mini-bar!) Cheers from David

May You Always Have an Angel by Your Side

Today, a week after being admitted to the Phyllis Tuckwell Hospice, and coincidental with having the wi-fi connection to the internet restored so that I can once again update my blog from my bedside, I received a wonderful keepsake from my virtual Mac-friend, Crystal. Suitably illustrated, it bore the title I have used for this posting and it quite simply reminds me that I continue to be offered into the care of such marvellous people. To the long list I now include all the staff on the various shifts at PTH:

"May you always have an angel watching out for you

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Helping you believe in brighter days and in dreams come true

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Giving you comfort and courage

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 Catching you if you fall

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Inspiring smiles

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Holding your hand and helping you through it all

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May you always have an angel by your side"

Douglas Pagels

It's Good News Week

"Have you heard the news?
What did it say?
Who's won that race?
What's the weather like today?"



Though long overdue my news is a mixed bag and I apologise for not responding to the many pleas for an update. Unfortunately current circumstances over the last few weeks have made a once comfortable situation, perched at my computer whiling away the sleepless hours, now almost intolerable as the acute pain roams around my thorax.


Central to my coping strategies of late has been the battle to control this pain. Recently when it became necessary to have a wisdom tooth extracted my 6th bout of chemo was postponed and blood tests and a CT scan were booked prior to my visit to the dentist. The upshot of all this was, good on the one hand in that clearance was efected for a wholly successful exctraction and consequentially on the other hand, whilst not quite such good news in many respects owing to the results of the scan. It was decided that there was no further benefit from my continuing on the Real 3 chemo trial: The balance had shifted and although Goliath himself was still very much subduded, two of his henchmnen had returned from Al Queda trainging camps and reinforced their positions in two of the secondary locations; namely lungs and liver. Control of the suspected referral pain resulting from this stance by the enemy is now top priority and to this end a bed is being sought in the Phyllis Tuckwell Hospice to enable some inpatient observation as they try and balance the dosage of painkillers. In the meantime the research team at Guildford, under the guidance of my consultant, are looking for the best of a number of options on the route ahead; to be discussed at a clinic on Thursday.


So it's back in a state of limbo, with a rest period from further chemo treatment (and no option for radiotherapy because of the juxtapositionof the various mets and vital organs), waiting on and monitoring developments of now unrestrained tumours: A somewhat nervous state of affairs being engaged in the next indecisive lap of this relay race. Thankfully my faith in the expertise a nd co-operation of all the elements of my care team makes sure I never drop the baton on the forward progress aimed at 'Stayin Alive'. As far as Goliath and his minions are concerened they will be smothered with love, overpowered with exercise, buried in good food or failing that drowned in alcohol.




P.S. 09.30am Hospice just rung to say there is a bed available for me today; so let's go get this sorted out!


Love and light to one and all


David [X]

Chaka offers to keep my spot on the sofa in the sunshine but complains the water bottle has gone cold